Dates on a Dime

The week of February 7 - 14 is National Marriage Week.  I think this is great.  A successful marriage takes a lot of work, but often this much-needed-attention gets placed on the back burner.  We get caught up with the daily grind - work, family, projects - and the list can get pretty lengthy with our spouse's names at the bottom.  

Once upon a time, there was a generation that lived where this was okay because commitment to one another was all it took to stay together "until death".  But in this generation, the likelihood of that happening is about 50%.  We can see that the next generation will probably see that percentage shrink further.

Studies have shown that couples who date each other have the resolve to make things work.  And those who date each other regularly, have a stronger bond with one another.  Here are some date ideas my husband and I came up with.  It caters to those with a tighter budget.  But we also tend to think these are the more romantic ones.

Date #1:  Romance on a Rooftop:  Climb onto your rooftop with a blanket, a radio, and some snacks.  Watch the sunset, watch the sunrise, or gaze at the stars.  Its a great romantic getaway.  And the view is awesome.

Date #2:  Driveway theater:  Pop a big bowl of popcorn and grab a couple of sodas.  Pull out the sofa and the tv set from the living room and on to your driveway.  Pop in a video.  Or if you are more into streaming videos through Netflix or Hulu - then by all means use a computer.  I have an imac 21" screen so this is ideal for a great drive way theater.

Date #3:  An Island Photo Tour:  Take a drive around town (or in my case around the island).  Make some stops along the way for photo opportunities.  Yes, act like tourists on vacation in your hometown.  Then download the photos and create a digital scrapbook together of your day on tour.

Date #4:  A McRomance Night:  Get dressed up to the nines - the fancier the better.  Place a nice table cloth and a nice floral arrangement over a table at your nearest McDonalds or favorite fast food restaurant.  Order from the dollar menu.  Yes, you'll probably have people staring at you but you won't notice them as you stare into one anothers' eyes.  Create silly Q&A index cards about one another for funny discovery discussions.  

Have fun with these.  If you have others you'd like to share, please feel free to add.  I can't wait to see what some of you will suggest - perhaps we will run into each other in some of these great romantic get-a-ways. 

  

Simple Truth of Obedience over Sacrifice

Last week, a friend shared with me that a friend of hers had been unhappy with her church.  They still wanted to follow God and felt that they were on a journey to a deeper walk with HIM.  I listened, but I was a little bothered by what was being said.  The desire to move on seemed justifiable - the way it was presented to me.  They didn't feel like their church was meeting their needs and wanted to move on to some place else that would satisfy their new found hunger for the Lord.  Made a lot of sense - but at the same time it didn't.

Just a week before, I was in a similar conversation about another individual who spoke about their church in a like manner.  A different individual about a different church in a different state - hmmm?.?.  This particular church had recently undergone some difficulties.  Their previous pastor - a charismatic man whose passion for God grew programs within the church, lead numerous mission trips to Asia, and mentored many young men and women who now serve in the ministry - was caught in an adulterous relationship with a member of his congregation.  When confronted, he decided to leave his wife, kids, and ministry and continued his relationship with the other woman.  The church was devastated and a new pastor was sent to replace this "once so highly regarded" man - a man so "well packaged" on the outside.  It was a difficult year for the now fledgling church.  The new pastor, in spite of his fervor for God, did not emit the same "ump" as the previous.  He is mono-tone and dry - according to this individual.  As she spelled out her wish to leave, she expressed that several others had already done so - "doesn't the guy get it?  Why doesn't he have a clue that people don't want to listen to his boring exhortations?" she exclaims.  She continued to say, "if he's not gifted in that area - shouldn't he step down?"

My heart sank as I listened to her.  I visited this church a couple of times.  I've heard the current pastor speak.  He really wasn't a dynamic speaker - there were no funny ad libs - there were no personal touches that would bring about the idea that he could relate to me.  I could go on through a list of things that was faulty in his delivery.  But this man was a man after God's own heart - and so I felt compelled to pray for him as he faced the mountain of having to bring this church through the journey of healing.  I felt bad for him because I wasn't sure he had the support he needed - felt bad because I knew he loved God and was desperate to get the church back into the right track - but struggled to do so.  I could see that he knew he was disconnected, he had a long ways to go, and that he also struggled with the feelings of defeat.  I sensed it in him when we shook hands after service.

After my friend shared with me her issues, she asked if it was wrong for her to leave and find another church.  She was surprised to hear me say, yes.  It was a surprise for me too - I didn't know what was going to come out of my mouth next.  I went on to say, God placed your pastor there so it is for no one else to remove him.  God tells us to honor our leaders and leaving the church does not do that.  I would rather follow a slow speaker who is sincere in his walk with God than a dynamic charismatic one who's selfish desire superseded his love for God to the point of destroying his family.  I reminded my friend that Moses was not a great speaker - but God chose him to lead HIS people.  I reminded her that God chose David instead of his stronger and more seasoned older brothers to lead Israel - that God looks at the heart and sees what we don't see.  I encouraged her not to leave - but to stay and pray for her pastor, her church, and to seek God to use her where He wants to.  I reminded her that it is better to obey - and God told us to honor our leader - to not forsake the assembly of the saints.

Perhaps we view church the wrong way - church is where we offer sacrifices unto God - where we go to worship Him - where we go to honor HIM and declare to all who sees that HE is our God.  We have been led to believe that church is where we go to get served.  Don't get me wrong - we usually feel full and served in church - but that's just the added bonus.  We are created to bring glory to God - he just blesses us with added extras - but that's entirely up to HIM.

So, if you ask me if you are justified in leaving your church - you won't like my answer - so don't ask.  You can create a list of "whys".  But you still wont like what I have to say about it.  The bottom line is this - your not happy with your church because you are not obedient.  Hard words.  Easy for me to say - I'm happy with my church.  But I'm happy because I've seen many speakers and heard many critics - and I've continued to see the church grow not because of the speaker but because of the Holy Spirit - because of the prayers of the saints - and because of the leaders passion for God.

At the church I go to - there was one speaker who was so dry - often loses his point - and comes across as legalistic sometimes.  But he's passionate about God - and several years later - many testified that it was because of him that they were able to recite scripture and have gone on to serve within the church.  There is another speaker who spoke with such heavy accent that many could not understand his words, but people were compelled to come listen to him every week and they brought others - years later, many testified that they've been used to plant other churches and now serve as pastors in those churches.  There is another speaker who was often told that his messages were too positive - can you imagine that?!? - I guess there are those who need the "hell fire and brimstone" kind of messages.  But if I had left the church because the pastor was too dry, spoke with too heavy an accent, or was too positive - I would have missed out on what God was trying to work in my own life.  I would have missed out on GOD.  It's not the pastor's responsibility to save - that's God.  It's not the pastor's responsibility to bring about change in my life - that's God.  The pastor's responsibility is to be obedient to God.  And to be obedient is better than sacrifice.

I don't think that hearing about these two separate individuals express their desire to leave two different churches within two weeks time is a coincident.  I think more will be compelled to leave their churches in the days to come - it's in the Bible.  But here's what we need to consider - as God is cleaning up His house to prepare for the end - do we want to be the ones left standing or the ones who had been blown by the wind.  We need to pray for our pastors - they are fighting a great fight that God has already won.  We need to pray for our church leaders - so they will stand on God's word and know and do what is right.  We need to pray for our family - that we will stand and serve the Lord - and that is why we go to church.