Below is the transcript to Jacqueline's message.
Hi,
my name is Jacqueline.
I
was practically raised here at Saint Paul Christian School. My mom use to be
the principal of the school, and I was only a few months old when she brought
me to work with her everyday. Both my
parents are associate pastors of the Saint Paul Assembly of God Church. So pretty much I was born and raised in a
Christian family – and because of this, I thought I was saved, and I assumed I
knew God. I attended a school where we
had Bible everyday and Chapel every week.
I attended church every Sunday and went to Sunday school. My parents held Bible Study every week at our
house – I was with them every time they attended a church meeting, did a church
outreach, attended prayer services, revival meetings – you name it, I was there
with my parents.
My
grandma, my mom’s mom died of small-cell lung cancer when I was only three
years old. Even at that young age, I
knew how deeply this hurt my mom. I
would see her cry – and many times she would tell me how much she missed her
mom. But my mom often would say, its
okay because we will see her again.
Grandma knew Jesus so she is with him.
I understood this - but not really.
I understood it because I heard about heaven enough to know that it
existed – like some distant land somewhere – but I didn’t really
understand?
When
my younger sister was born, I would often hear my mom say longingly that she
wished grandma could have met Jamie. The
sadness in my mom’s voice made me wonder why would God take my grandma away
–she didn’t get a chance to see my sister and I never got the chance to know
her. I just couldn’t see how God fit
into the whole thing. So I continued to
go to church with my parents and I continued to give the correct answers in
Bible class. My mom would remind me to
read my bible and pray before going to bed.
But truthfully, I didn’t understand what it meant to have a relationship
with Jesus. I just went through the
motion and did whatever my mom and dad told me to do.
When
I was in first grade, I remember saying the sinners prayer and giving my heart
to God. I was told that God loved me and
that Jesus died on the cross for my sin. But I still didn’t get my mom and dad’s faith
– They always told me that I should talk to Jesus because He’s my best
friend. I’m thinking I pray – what are
they talking about? I can hear my mom at
times – when she’s driving us to school – talking to Jesus as if he’s in the
car with us – then she would remind me that he is – he’s in the car and he’s
always with us. Hmmm?
Last
year, I started to understand a little more about God – how he isn’t somewhere
in a distant land – that he is here – he is with me. I started attending the evening services
where Pastor Eva preached about the Holy Spirit – I wanted the Holy Spirit in
my life because I wanted to get closer to God.
I was prayed over, and the Holy Spirit touched my heart. I asked my mom if I could get baptized – I
wanted everyone to know that I was going to commit my life to God.
Then
my grandpa, my mom’s dad got sick with cancer too. I thought, oh no, here we go again. God, why?
I don’t understand. Why would you
take my grandpa away? Well, on October
5, 2011 my grandpa died. Around the time of his funeral, I started to feel
uneasy. I realized that our life is not guaranteed and that we can go at any
time. I also became unsure that if God
were to come again? - would I be ready? – Would I be left behind? I decided it
was time to get serious with God and completely give my life to Him. A
few weeks before my grandpa died, Mr. S.A gave us a memory verse – Jeremiah
29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to
prosper you and not to harm you. Plans
to give you hope and a future.” That
gave me peace – like I didn’t need to fully understand what was going on – but
that I just needed to trust that God loved me and that was all that mattered.
Giving
my life to God didn’t make me perfect. I
still make a lot of mistakes and make poor choices at times. But I am certain of God’s love for me – it is
never failing – it is unconditional. And
because I have placed my trust in him – I have called Him my friend – I have
made a decision to get to know him more and more each day. I am certain I will see my grandma and my
grandpa again – just like my mom said. I
understand this now. You see - the night
before my grandpa’s funeral – I shared with God how I had missed my grandpa – I
shared with God how this death and heaven thing was confusing and scary for
me. And that night, I fell asleep and
dreamt that I was here at the church. In
my dream, I was giving my eulogy and started to cry so I ran downstairs and
into the parking lot. All of a sudden, I
saw my grandpa – he was walking – he wasn’t in his wheelchair, he looked
strong, healthy, and younger – like his old pictures. He didn’t say anything – but the man standing
next to him did – he said, your grandpa is doing very well – he is okay now. My grandpa then smiled at me and touched my
shoulder. It was then that I realized
that the other man was Jesus. I woke up
and realized that God was reminding me that this world is temporary – there is
another place and my grandpa is there and he is well.
That
was a big turning point for me. Since
that day, I have come to a better understanding that I need Jesus. Our time here on earth is not certain and
there is not a good time for me to be living without him. So today, I want to encourage all of us to
realize we need Jesus. The Bible says,
“For all have sinned a fall short of the glory of God.” “For the wages of sin is death – but the gift
of God is eternal life.” But like all
gifts, it is up to us to accept it.
Accept Jesus’ gift today – and ask him into your life.
Thank
you.
